Creating Ruin
by skywolf666
Summary: The clown's mask was cracking as he pushed everyone away in his mourning, but she wasn't afraid to wade into the fight to at least attempt to give him another shoulder to lean himself onto if he so chose. He could lash out all he wanted. She was more than capable of taking it. It was a professor's duty to her students, after all. (BL, Post Miklan.)


**White Clouds**

**Garreg Mach Monastery (Stables)**

**Horsebow Moon**

**Year 1180**

"Sylvain, would you just-"

"I told you, Ingrid, I don't need any-"

The arguing could be heard almost as far away as the market, despite the usual clamour and chaos that drowned out most noise amongst the shopping students, professors, and villagers. It had been what had originally caught Raine's attention in the first place, and she had come to investigate when she had heard the heated voices of her two students even over the crowd. It wasn't unusual for the two old friends to argue, rather it was par the course, but there was a rawness to their voices that had made her decide it was best to go see what was happening rather than mind her own business. Ingrid was more than capable of putting Sylvain in his place, and had been doing so for far longer than Raine had even known the two, and she trusted the stalwart blond to know what she was getting into and to handle herself.

Sylvain, however was much different, and Raine had already learned firsthand that his resentment of Crests, and women, were both mutually exclusive and rather toxic. The only person seemingly immune to such behaviour was Ingrid, but now there was a certain heat to his voice as the two continued to argue, and it made their professor worry that perhaps bounds were being overstepped. It had been his unfortunate turn to face family on the battlefield only a single week ago, and despite his cheerful act on their return to the monastery, all knew he was not nearly as composed as he wanted to appear.

The sound of flesh on flesh proved it as Raine rounded the corner to the stables just in time to see Ingrid punching her old friend straight on the left side of the jaw, and with more than enough force to send Sylvain toppling over and onto a bale of freshly packed hay. Ingrid was trembling with wrath as she stood over the injured redhead, her blue eyes bright and ferocious, and for a brief, mad, moment Raine imagined her going for her lance. Instead, and much to her relief, Ingrid instead spat at him with a voice so full of heat and venom that even the professor winced away from it, "Fine! If you want to keep playing the clown, then do so by yourself! I'm ever so sorry I wasted a moment of my concern on _you_!"

Raine watched with both surprise and wonder as Ingrid whirled on her heel and stormed away towards the dormitories, and though she wasn't quite close enough to see her student's expression, she was almost certain the red about her eyes was not due to anger whatsoever. She then looked to Sylvain, who had not tried to rise from where he'd fallen as he rubbed his jaw, chuckling darkly to himself as his eyes lowered to the ground after Ingrid vanished from his sight. She let out a long breath, well aware of what kind of mire she was wading into, before approaching her fallen student with a quiet, "Do you need a hand?"

Sylvain's eyes flickered over to his professor as she approached him, and then to her extended hand as she offered to help him to his feet. He ignored it as he shoved off of the bale of hay with his elbows, turning his head away from her pointedly as he continued to rub at his jaw. It abashed him that she had seen the whole show, and he wasn't in the mood for any of her potential scolding for setting Ingrid off. He was already quite aware of his professor's opinion of him, and he had already told her bluntly that he didn't care a whit for her or what she thought of him. He didn't need or want her sympathy now, and that showed as he waved her off coolly, "Don't need anything, Professor. You ought to follow Ingrid if you want to be any help."

"I think I'll stay." Raine ignored Sylvain's tone as she glanced around the stables to see if anyone else had overheard the argument, or had come looking to find the source of the noise. To her surprise, they were alone barring the horses in their stalls, and it gave her a moment of comfort in knowing only she had seen what had taken place. Ingrid was a strong young woman, one who would handle her emotions on her own without needing her help, and she knew the same couldn't be said of the young man in front of her. She shifted her weight idly from one foot to the other before adding on errantly, "Ingrid didn't look to be in the mood to talk, if that hook of hers was anything to go by... and I'd rather not put myself in a position to receive one."

Sylvain's eyes flickered, and his jaw set into a stern frown as he forced himself to lean nonchalantly back onto the hay bale he had previously just risen from. He didn't like the tone of her voice, nor the carefree way she was standing in front of him as if she had no regard for his mood whatsoever. Her decision to remain with him irked him, though logically he could understand why. He was the injured party, and Ingrid had never been one who needed coddling. The idea however that he did did no favours to his temper, and his voice was low and almost threatening when he asked, "And you think I'm in a different mood?"

"You let her hit you. I've seen you fight, remember? You could have easily dodged, or blocked, if you were inclined. But you didn't." Raine pointed out with a slight tilt to her head, and she was both amused and exasperated when she saw Sylvain's eyes widen momentarily and then narrow almost at once again. He sometimes seemed to forget just who she was and what she was capable of, and reminding him of that was a guilty pleasure she rarely got to indulge in. She shrugged her shoulders idly, but her focus was razor sharp when she continued, "Whatever the two of you were arguing about, it must have hit both of your nerves a bit too much if this was the consequence. Normally, I'm more than happy to let you two have your moments, but this looks more serious than your usual squabbles."

"I didn't know you liked to be such a voyeur, Professor." Sylvain shrugged his shoulders again, and shook his head dismissively as he felt the weight of her stare on him like a wyvern. He didn't like her cutting eyes, nor the way she seemed to see right through all of them; himself included. She was so good at reading her classroom, at reading almost anyone, and while it usually produced a grudging sort of respect, now it only added onto his irritation. Still, he didn't wish to show it if he could help it, and he tried his best to keep his voice neutral, and almost playful despite the bitter way it tasted on his tongue when he spoke, "Not usually what I'm into, but maybe you've piqued my interest after all, huh?"

"So, this is about Miklan, then. No wonder Ingrid got so angry."

Hearing his brother's name immediately snapped him into standing up straight, and all ideas of playing off her comments and watchful eyes went fleeing from his head like a pegasus released from their lead. He didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to even begin to try. Ingrid had already done enough damage, and their ensuing argument had earned him a punch, and then a cutting reprimand that he wondered might just stick this time. He hadn't heard her so angry in a very long time, but he shoved the idea down as he looked threateningly towards his professor and asked her in a deceptively quiet voice, "Do you want me to get angry with you?"

"If you want to." Her reply surprised him, but only momentarily. She was still watching him carefully, as if sizing him up, and it made his lips twitch and his teeth grit down sharply at her refusal to leave things be. It was her turn to shrug her shoulders, but her expression was anything but calm or uncaring when she continued on firmly, "It'd be better than watching you pretend nothing is wrong."

"Nothing is wrong." The lie tasted like blood on his tongue, sour and coppery, and he wondered errantly if perhaps Ingrid's punch had cut his cheek somewhere. Sylvain shook his head and threw up his hands, fighting to keep a calm and carefree smirk on his face as he declared in a voice full of forced cheer, "Miklan stole the Lance of Ruin. He got turned into a monster for it. Then we killed him, and got our Relic back. Now it's with House Gautier, where it belongs. All's well that ends well, right? We did exactly what we set out to do. I see no reason to cry over a dead thief. He got his just desserts. A divine punishment for stealing and wielding a divine Relic, right? Isn't that what Lady Rhea said?"

Hearing him repeat the lie she had said at Rhea's orders made her hands tighten at her sides with a flash of irrational temper. The archbishop's words had been sound, logically, even if she didn't agree with it. The system in Fódlan was a naturally unstable one, and the Relics were unfortunate necessities in protecting the land and the people. But calling what had happened to Miklan a "divine punishment" just hadn't sat right with her. It was a genetic defect that came with horrifying consequences, not divine providence. Even if it would cause havoc if the secret ever came out to the people... Sylvain had no excuse using it as justification. Not when he knew better. And her eyes flashed as her temper shone through as she shot back firmly, "If that was your real opinion, why won't you look me in the eye when you say it?"

"Why are you so intent on sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, huh? You don't know me. You don't know _anything_." Sylvain's words were acid, and when he dropped his arms, there was a brief, mad moment where he imagined grabbing his professor by the front of her jacket and giving her a violent shake for continuing to push his boundaries. He however ignored the impulse, knowing full well that if he was caught by anyone,_ especially_ his lord, that he would lose his head for daring to put hands on her. The rest of the house adored her, all in their own ways, but he knew his disrespect had limits. Dimitri had already warned him not to make threats, and had warned Felix to mind his tongue in their professor's presence. He would not dare anger both Raine and Dimitri in one blow, no matter how infuriated he already was. Instead he injected it all into his voice as he spat back, "Miklan was a traitor to our house, and created a huge mess that I had to clean up. He wasn't my brother. I don't care that he's dead. I don't care about anything."

Raine watched his twitching hands with interest as she heard the rising anger in his voice, and she could feel she was trespassing dangerously close to a barrier that was keeping her safe from the chosen son of the Gautier house. Still, unlike her other students, he was not someone that she was afraid to push. He was stronger than the others, even if his behaviour was not to her taste. And he needed her to push, because she would not leave him when he pushed back in retaliation. Ingrid had her limits. She did not. It was one of the few benefits of being an outsider, to both nobility, and the monastery's system as a whole. And it made her fearless as she mused, "And that's what I assume is what you said before Ingrid punched you."

Sylvain's lip curled in disgust, and he looked at her both dismissively and with that envious gleam in his eyes that she had grown quite used to ever since he had first threatened to kill her for her ignorance and her uneventful lifestyle that he had never had the luxury of living. It was not his finest moment, and he did have regret for lashing out at her, but he forgot all of it now at the way she spoke down to him as if she fully comprehended the situation at hand. Once again he was swept away with that envious hatred that he knew was irrational, and it made him laugh with dark anger when he hissed, "You know, for someone who was raised without knowing how _special_ you were, you sure have that holier-than-thou attitude down pat, Professor."

"This isn't about my Crest, Sylvain. It's about you shoving away your friends when they're trying to help you. If even I can see how poorly you're lying, do you think they can't see through you better?" Raine's words were cutting and sharp, and this time it was her hands that twitched as they fought the urge to strike him for bringing up that particular argument again. It felt ironic, that only a week before they had fought his brother, he had come forward with his true feelings about her and her Crest. She still wasn't sure if the timing was fortuitous or simply a sign of the horror to come. However it didn't matter. What was important was his actions here and now, and she cared little for the threats he issued when she was well aware he would never act on them. Instead she continued on with the topic at hand, pointing out with narrowed eyes, "Ingrid didn't come about just to harass you. She came to make sure her friend was okay. And for someone who values their friends, you're doing a very poor job of showing it."

"Sadistic, too. Maybe you are my type after all, Professor." Sylvain showed no reaction beyond a flicker deep in his eyes, and from the curl of his lip, Raine was well aware that she was fighting a losing battle. He would not show her anything he wasn't ready to show her, even if she continued to push. He was simply too stubborn, and too wrapped up in pretending he was still right and justified in his actions. Or perhaps, too afraid to simply admit the truth. So instead he fell back on old habits and well-practised lines, waiting for her patience to run out, and he was becoming horribly effective at doing so.

Raine let out a long breath as she understood there was little point in continuing. Perhaps she would have better served following after Ingrid instead after all. It stung, still, knowing that even after trying her best that she could not reach him, and that his disdain for her likely would not cease. She wondered why it bothered her so much. Was it because Dimitri had made such a furtive plea for forgiveness for misjudging her two moons prior? She wasn't sure, and it unnerved her. She shook the thoughts away, and instead let out a breath as she conceded to him tiredly, "If this is how you want to be, then I won't try to stop you... but I will advise you to rethink your attitude. All you're doing is worrying the people who love you, and to what end? They know you're lying. You know you're lying. What are you hoping to gain by continuing the cycle? For them to just forget about you?"

The words were a trigger, albeit one that she had not attempted to press as suddenly Sylvain exploded like a cart of combustive powder being thrown towards an enemy. He whirled on her in a flash, startling her backwards on nothing but sheer instinct as his eyes narrowed and glared with a flame that seemed to reach out to scorch her. His voice erupted into a near shout despite the fact that she was barely a foot away from him, and his entire body was shaking with rage as he roared, "I want to forget about _all of it_! And I want them to forget about it, too! The theft, the fighting, the _monster_, everything! I didn't ask for this! I didn't ask for anything at all! I just want everybody to forget about it and move on with their lives! If they'd just stop coming by to make sure I was okay, then, then...!"

"Then you could pretend Miklan didn't die?"

The words drenched his flames as instantly as they had combusted, and Sylvain felt himself sinking down to sit on the hay bale behind him without thinking. He was abruptly exhausted. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. How had she pierced through him so effortlessly? Why had she bothered? He had been nothing but cruel to her, just as he was to any other woman. Perhaps even moreso. And yet she had stuck around, wheedling her way in to force him to acknowledge the harsh truths he didn't want to face. His head fell into his hands, fingers grasping at his hair as he hid his face from her so she would not see the tears that were burning in his eyes even as he asked in a ragged mutter, "W-Why are you doing this...? I thought you didn't care about me. I was pretty sure you despised me. So why...? Why are you trying so hard for me?"

"It's true that I don't necessarily adore you, Sylvain, but you are my student, and you've been dealt a very unfair hand. How you handle that is your choice and I don't need to agree with it to sympathize with you." Raine's voice had become soft, and a sudden dip beside him told him without needing to look that she was now seating herself next to him. She took care to keep a respectable distance between them, but she was making a strange effort nonetheless to be close, and he wasn't sure if it was a sign of her trying to comfort him, or trying to further wheedle her way past his shields. She let out a long breath, and he heard her lean back on her hands as she murmured, almost to herself, "This is the second time now that I've had to watch one of my students suffer from the knowledge that a family member is dead, partially by their hand. It's... disgusting. I did not come here to help family kill family, regardless of the situations or motivations involved."

The words felt like a lightning bolt had stricken him directly in the stomach, and Sylvain felt his eyes widening as he immediately reflected on that green-eyed archer who had likewise lost someone not too long ago. How had he forgotten? Then his stomach sank with a painful realization that he had not just forgotten... but he had never made an effort to reach out to Ashe whatsoever. Had any of them? He didn't know. That moon had been such a blur, turning his lance for the first time on mere villagers who had no business fighting true soldiers, but did so anyway because of their undying loyalty to their lord. He hadn't thought of Ashe at all. The knowledge made him suddenly sick as he raised his hands and whispered harshly into his knuckles, "Ashe."

"Yes, Ashe." Raine agreed with another long exhale, and as she watched Sylvain lift his head, eyes darting frantically about the grounds as if he was looking for his friend, she wasn't sure if she was pleased to see his conscience returning, or angry that it had taken so long for him to think of his fellow classmate. Yet, Ashe had never complained when his pains went ignored by the majority of his house, or were even outright dismissed because of his adoptive father's criminal actions. The only two who had shown him immediate sympathy were Annette and Mercedes, and then Dimitri after his realization he had not spoken up yet to him, but by then he had deemed it too late to have been of any use.

Still, she knew the boy was not one to be angry at anyone for keeping to themselves and not reaching out to him. He had been just as morally shaken as anyone else had, and his sympathy for them went beyond his own want for comfort. He was too kindhearted, which left him holding the short end of the stick far too often. It was one of the reasons why she had been keeping a closer eye on him ever since the incident, and she was only glad to see that he was smiling again, and becoming fast friends with Petra, who had only recently requested a transfer into the Blue Lions the moon prior. The two were more often than not sparring and chatting together, giving him a feeling of sorely needed companionship as the Blue Lions proved themselves more splintered than they first appeared.

Raine took in a breath as she watched the myriad of emotions flicker through Sylvain's eyes before settling into a tired sort of exhaustion that was intermingled with guilt. It was not the outcome she had hoped to achieve, but it was much better than his poor facade of a clown's mask that even she could see quite clearly through. He was suffering, and he was shouldering his burden alone. She did not know why, only that it was completely unnecessary, and it made her begin as gently as she possibly could as the silence stretched out for too long between them, "I think... If anyone knows what you're going through right now, it would be Ashe. You two should speak, if only because you'd understand each other, at least to some extent. I won't ask you to mourn Miklan. Whatever your feelings for your brother, they were complicated, and far beyond my understanding. You don't need to explain them to me, either. I've done enough prying into your affairs already... but I just don't want to see you suffering needlessly anymore."

"Is it because I'm your student?"

It was not an acidic question, and she knew that he meant no harm behind it due to his tired voice, but somehow it still stung to be asked about her reasoning for caring for him and his emotions. Again Raine felt discomforted, realizing that the depth of her disconnect with her class was something she wasn't truly sure she could ever breach no matter how she fumbled about with trying to do so. She looked down at her knees with both disappointment and an odd aching feeling in her stomach as she replied quietly, "That's only a part of it. I have a responsibility to you, all of you, but... I don't want to see _anyone _suffering needlessly. Not if I can do something about it. I'm... poorly equipped for it, I'll admit that. I don't quite know... how to interact with anyone, let alone those who are supposed to be relying on me. I'm trying my best, but it doesn't seem to be enough. Which is why I wish you'd lean on your friends, when they care so much for you. They know you much better than I ever will. They could help you much better than I ever could. You shouldn't push them away."

"You're right about that... I do have good friends. And I've been a downright arse to them. Ingrid was right to take a swing at me. She ought to have taken another one..." Sylvain agreed with a nod, and he reached to brush his hand hesitantly against his jaw where Ingrid had landed her hit. He was sure he'd bruise, but he knew he had deserved it. She had seen right through him, and despite knowing she was right, he had just brushed her off before outright lying to her about his feelings. It was a small wonder she had put up with him for so long before finally resorting to violence in her anger. "I owe her a hell of an apology, don't I, Professor?"

"That's up to you. I told you... I've done more than enough prying into your business. That stops now. Whatever you choose to do is something you'll do on your own." Raine said with an errant wave of her hand, and she rolled her shoulders back as she took a step away from him to leave him sitting where he was. He had done more than enough, more than she had expected, and she... was tired. She hadn't expected to hear him admit the truth, and she hadn't expected a turnaround. She was glad for it, and more than ready to return to the dorms for a quiet break before her regular training regime.

Sylvain watched as she turned about as if she was going to leave, and he found himself standing in tandem with her. She paused at his rising, clearly surprised to see him moving so quickly, and he raised a hand almost apologetically. She had every reason to be cautious of him, and he felt more than regretful for it. Yet, that look in her eye... That strange curve to her lower lip that he hadn't seen before... It urged him to speak before he could think better of it, "Professor... Are you going to stop teaching me?"

"I'm... sorry? What do you mean?" Raine halted completely in her tracks at the sudden question, and she looked to him with complete wide-eyed confusion. What did he mean? Stop teaching him? Had he been asked for a reassignment? The idea hit her almost like a punch to the gut, but she didn't allow that to show on her face. If it was his wish, then she wasn't about to interfere. She had been told a student was more than capable of leaving their house to join another if they could make a proper case to their potential house's professor, and she had already proven it herself by accepting Petra's request when it had been made of her after she had finished out with helping for last moon's mission. "Stop teaching you?"

"You said that you did enough prying into my business." Sylvain watched her face, both with curiosity and a fair amount of sudden guilt. Had that flash in her eyes been fear, or something else when she had asked him to clarify his words? If it had been... His stomach twisted, and he stepped forward in what he hoped was seen as a reconciliatory gesture, and opened one hand before he continued to explain, "That any of the choices I made would be ones I make on my own. So, I want to know... Does that mean you're going to stop teaching me? Kick me out into another house? I know I've been a pain in your arse, just as much as anybody else's. If you wanted to get rid of me... I wouldn't blame you. I think you'd be right to get rid of me, honestly."

"Unless you've filed a request to transfer... I don't intend to stop teaching you. Not until the day you leave of your own volition." Raine shook her head, both surprised, and uncertain about his words and gestures. It felt as if she was constantly being tested, constantly unsure and on uneven footing with these students of hers, and she wasn't sure if she would ever truly find solid ground. But she was determined enough to try, no matter how it felt, and she offered Sylvain a nod as she explained with the faintest trace of gentleness in her voice, "We may not see eye to eye as people, but... You'll be my student until you decide you don't wish to be anymore. And if and when you choose to leave... Then you're more than welcome to go, and I'll wish you well. That is what a professor does, right?"

"Why are you asking me that, Professor? It's not like I know the first thing about teaching." Sylvain chuckled at the question, but he heard the note of hesitancy, of uncertainty, that was buried deep within her voice when she spoke. That glimpse he had seen in her eyes hadn't been an illusion whatsoever. And it made him smile sadly with the realization that underneath her confidence, her cool eyes, and her ability to direct them... She did not know if she was doing right by them, even now. The Sword of the Creator hung on her belt, glowed in her hand, and yet still she had doubts. He turned around for the dormitories, unable to face her, but his voice was light, and almost gentle as he called over his shoulder to her, "But what I do know, is that from a student's perspective... You're not half bad, Professor."

Raine watched him leave, heading straight as an arrow fired from a bow towards the dormitories, and she couldn't help but feel her lips quirk at the sight of his back disappearing about the corner of the gardens. She hoped his apology to Ingrid was well-received, but she wasn't about to bet any coin on it. Ingrid didn't suffer fools lightly, regardless of how she felt about Sylvain, and she was very likely to hit him again before she accepted his apology... but even Sylvain himself would be the first to admit he deserved it. Though he was long gone, Raine couldn't help but sigh before she turned for the arena, deciding her exhaustion was better fought than succumbed to even as she murmured under her breath, "Thank you, Sylvain... I think I... really needed to hear that."

**AN:**

**The lack of fallout from certain missions in the BL route has always been something I've been interested in exploring, and after having a request to do some Miklan and Sylvain... Well, this is my response. Fallout from the missions has always been something I like to imagine, and have thoroughly enjoyed writing. Especially considering Sylvain's rather... tenuous relationship with Byleth regardless of their gender. (Though it certainly feels a bit more personal with F!Byleth than the male.) However, Sylvain truly isn't a bad person, regardless of his less than savoury tendencies, and with a steady hand and good support, he becomes a good man. (Especially when Ingrid is there to whap him back into line. God, their A+ Support is so painfully adorable...)**

**Still, this is unfortunately only one small piece of a bigger puzzle to solve, and there are still many moons ahead! I can only shove so much character development into one chapter, but I swear I am trying! I am enjoying however switching between Warin and Raine each chapter, but I'm not entirely sure if I'll continue the pattern. I think I may leave that up to you, but I can't really promise anything at the current moment. I've been ploughing through chapter after chapter, and that most certainly is not usually my normal. I've got burnout bad, but I'm enjoying my muse taking the wheel!**

**Though man, is my muse a cruel mistress. I am exhausted, and my sleep schedule is so messed up. I gotta fix that quick. Anywhosit! As always, thank you for reading as far as you have, and please drop me a review if you feel the need! I hope you've enjoyed what you've read so far, and will continue to enjoy the work that I do! I'm having a lot of fun writing for 3H, and I want that to stay as is!**

**PS: Warin is next in the coming chapter, and as has been requested, there will be some touching on his relationship with Alois! There also will be some minor shipping hints, for anyone who's been curious about who he'll be ending up with. Anybody care to take some guesses? I'd love to see who you think he'd hit it off with! XD**

**Mood: Pleased.**

**Listening To: "Last Stardust" - Aimer (Fate Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works)**

**~ Sky**


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